Experience tells me that the gift of spontaneity lights up the hearts of others.
Being spontaneous can be as simple as letting someone know you care when they least expect it or thanking someone for just being in your life rather than waiting to thank them for something they have actually done. It can be as simple as opening a door to let the other person through or smiling and wishing someone a good day as they leave you.
It is also about trusting your instinct and taking the chance. It is making the choice without the deep rationalizing that often occurs prior to taking the step. How many of us have noticed that when we finally decide that we are ready to move forward, the moment has passed?
In humanistic psychology, Abraham Maslow suggests that spontaneity, as a component of ‘aliveness’, is one of the attributes of self-actualized people. In other words, from the perspective of our world, spontaneity is a characteristic linked to high emotional health.
For many of us, spontaneity can be quite unfamiliar and not part of our repertoire or our personality. However, that is the challenge – for if we don’t see spontaneity in ourselves, it will continue to evade us.
One way I have learnt to experience spontaneity more readily has been to ‘practise’ – which doesn’t sound spontaneous at all. How? Simply by intentionally choosing to take some of the small actions I described above and seeing what happens. I’ve been surprised to discover the very pleasant responses that I get from others – a warm smile, a genuine ‘thank you’ – when I take a small spontaneous step, and how all of that makes me feel in return.
‘Practice makes perfect’ of course, and because practising spontaneity like this needs no more than a series of small gestures it is easy to embed into your daily routine until it becomes part of what you do.
I have found that if I approach spontaneity with the right intent and recognize my actions or language as ‘gifts’ to another, the self-judgment around whether or not these actions are appropriate decreases and opportunities to take them increase. When given in that spirit, spontaneity has the potential to delight.
Gayle
the article is eye opening for me especially to know that spontaneity is linked to emotional health. I can see the connection in my personal experience.
What a beautiful little piece and so true. Positive spontaneity can add so much kindness and a sense of hope to all our lives. Thanks for choosing this topic and offering some ideas on how to practice it more.
thanks Gayle, practicing some positive gestures and actions sounds a good idea to behave spontaneously after that. I always try to remember the things others have done to me and include these in my days. An unexpected card or call from someone, early contact In times of distress and always that smile from a stranger as connections to pass onto others .