Have you ever been at a meeting in which someone is going through the motions but is not truly present? Or a meeting in which someone is clearly troubled by something when they arrive yet they don’t say anything about it? Have you left a meeting and only in hindsight realised that one or more people at the table didn’t contribute a word to the discussion?

I’m sure you have experienced at least a couple of these scenarios. In the last 18 months, when almost all our meetings have gone online, the problem of presence and equality of contributions has arguably become worse.

In the online world, we can also literally ‘switch off’. I’m sure you’ve been at a virtual meeting in which one or more participants have turned their video off and muted their audio. They might claim to be listening, and genuinely need to have the screen off, however it might also indicate that there is something more important they feel they need to be doing than contributing to the meeting.

It can also be easier for more confident voices to be heard, while those who are more comfortable maintaining a lower profile can effectively remain invisible. When the quieter person does have something they want to contribute, it can be harder to ‘cut through’ the noise.

These environments make it easy for us to ‘check out’ or to display reactive, below-the-line behaviours as described above. This is especially the case if we do not hold each other to account, or if engaging (or not) in this way is accepted without question by the person leading the meeting.

The power of the check-in

We have long believed that a person has not truly ‘arrived’ at a meeting until they have spoken. This applies in both face-to-face and online meetings. Unfortunately for many, the first opportunity to speak may not occur until some point well into the meeting. In some cases, it may not occur at all.

We have found that a good way of quickly bringing everyone into a meeting is to start with a meaningful ‘check-in’. A check-in is a simple question inviting a brief response that is posed, one at a time, to every person in the ‘room’. Ideally it encourages a thoughtful answer.

A good check-in can break the ice while supporting all participants in becoming more present and focused on what needs to be achieved. It can strengthen relationships, providing a gentle means for those in the meeting to get to know one another as ‘multi-dimensional’ beings, informing without being intrusive. It can enhance possibilities and creativity.

Depending on the situation, a check-in can be set up to acknowledge people’s feelings or concerns, or it can be used as an appreciation – a positive way to support camaraderie and strengthen emotional health.

How to create a successful check-in

In setting a ‘check in’ up for success, we introduce the three principles of listening:

  • listening without knowing (as though you are hearing the person for the first time)
  • listening without judging (either of what the person is saying or self-critically of what you are going to share)
  • listening without interrupting (giving the person the opportunity to say what they are thinking without others commenting, quipping or adding to the content).

What we know is when, early in a meeting, we are invited to join into a process that is meaningful and relevant, we are more likely to remain more engaged and curious for the rest of the session. We have already learnt something different and interesting about others in the group, so it’s easier to see value in the effort to remain present.

Gayle

We have collected and created many ‘check-in’ questions over the years and would be more than happy to share these with you if you are interested. Simply contact us at leaders@globalleadershipfoundation.com and we will send them your way. If you have a favourite check-in question of your own, we’d appreciate it if you shared it with us in the Comment box below.