I’ve been reflecting a lot about the #MeToo campaign that has developed over the past few weeks on social media. In case you missed it, the campaign started after a tweet from American actress Alyssa Milano who asked any woman who has been sexually harassed or assaulted to change their ‘status’ to ‘Me too’.

That single tweet has now received over 50,000 ‘likes’ and almost 70,000 comments as thousands of women – and some men – have ‘put their hands up’ to report that they’ve been harassed or assaulted at some stage in their lives. Many thousands have shared their stories on Facebook and Twitter using the hashtag #MeToo*.

Seeing this sudden outpouring of declarations, and recalling an incident that I experienced myself many years ago, has caused me to think about what it is that prevents us from finding a voice at the time, and what it would take for more of us to do so.

I don’t claim to have the answers, but I think there is some benefit to be had in thinking about what these barriers are, because one thing is certain: while we feel unable to speak up, the situation we find ourselves in will continue.

As I reflected on this, I was conscious that there are many reasons for not speaking up.

Power imbalance is one that seems obvious. We know that people in power can create situations in which those ‘below’ them feel helpless to do anything in case they jeopardise their careers.

However sometimes the barriers to finding a voice are more subtle. There may be a fear that ‘if I speak up, I’ll be implicated too’, which, deep down, also points to a power imbalance. There can also be fear that speaking up will have a negative effect on others around you, or on your organisation.

Thinking of this from the perspective of the Enneagram, and the basic fears of each Enneagram type, we can point to a range of different rationales people may have to avoid speaking up:

  • If I speak up, I’ll be caught up in the middle of something I didn’t expect.
  • If I speak up, I will be judged for what I believe in or what I say.
  • If I speak up, others will think less of me.
  • If I speak up, it will be a career limiting move.
  • If I speak up, I’ll be too emotional and people won’t understand.
  • If I speak up, I might be seen to be incompetent.
  • If I speak up, who knows what could happen?
  • If I speak up, I’ll have to go through a whole lot of pain.
  • If I speak up, I might say things I will regret.

There are so many reasons for not speaking up that it’s not hard to understand why few of us do so.

What can we do to improve the situation? For me it is having the intent to ensure that my voice is used not just for myself but also for others (which is largely what the #MeToo campaign is effectively doing).

In an organisational context it is about building emotionally healthy leaders and creating workplaces based on trust and respect.

And it is certainly about continuing to raise this issue, and hopefully seeing campaigns like #MeToo as an opportunity to come together and to build a better way together.

But most of all the answers will come from everyone – men and women – finding their voice and continuing to talk about this.

Gayle

* Hashtags are a way of categorising social media posts and making them part of a wider conversation.

Photo by Beata Ratuszniak on Unsplash