Credit: D. Sharon Pruitt
I had the privilege of being a ‘coachee’ last month, supporting one of my colleagues in the accreditation process she is undertaking to be a recognized coach.
Around the mid-point of the coaching conversation, she asked me to tell her more about ‘balance’ – the word I had used when describing my desire to ensure that I gave enough time to the various aspects of the work I do.
When I began to tell her more and shared my thinking with her, I realised how important this word was and is for me.
Much has been written about maintaining a balance – in the way we live our lives, between our time at work and ‘play’, in what we eat and how we exercise – yet it seems that few of us actually achieve or maintain balance with any satisfaction.
A big shift in my understanding of balance came when I moved past an image of the pieces being ‘equal’ whenever the word was used.
What I now understand is that we need to look at balance from a ‘whole of life’ perspective, rather than fruitlessly trying to achieve balance in every 24-hour period. When I started to view balance from this perspective, it suddenly looked very different – and much more achievable.
I recognised that there have been periods in my life in which the focus has definitely been on my career: on achieving qualifications and on making a difference in the world of work. There have been other periods in which travel has been the feature: being away from the familiar and experiencing other countries and cultures. At other times the priority has been on commitments to family and friends, or my energy has been directed towards moving home – especially when this meant another state.
As I have brought this longer-term view of balance into my thinking, I have noticed that I no longer get anxious about failing to fit everything into arbitrary timeframes that I (or others) have created. I now have a more accurate picture of what is possible and achievable. I am much more realistic about how I can balance demands on my time in both the short and the much longer term.
Of course, none of this is justification for not getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly and taking time for yourself and others. However it is a reminder that we do not have to fit all of that into just one day, every day.
Gayle, Excellent blog. I have always taken a view that ‘balance’ is better assessed over a longer rather than a shorter term. I am passionate about my work and happily work very long hours when needed (work hard). Then I make sure I take time out (booked well in advance) and do something really different and refreshing (play hard). Exercise regularly, eat well mostly, spend time with family and friends etc on an ongoing basis. So over a 12 month period I assess that my life is balanced and I am happy with that.
I do not look for ‘work/non work’ balance every day nor every week. I contend people with passion are not balanced in that way!
Thanks for a great insight on balance Gayle. I really agree that true balance is best viewed in the bigger bigger and from the broader perspective, and that at the same time we need to support our daily equilibrium with regular self-care.
Gayle, Have to agree, the long term aim is healthy body, happy partner and enjoy life however long it may be.
Hi Gayle, thanks for your sharing. I found your holistic view of ‘balance’ very inspiring!
Great blog Gayle. Reminds me of Christine Lagarde’s response when asked how she managed her career and family. She offered two memorable tips: you can’t have it all at the same time, and ask for support – from your colleagues, your parter, your family, your friends.
Thank you Gayle for sharing your insight and how well I can connect with this. I find myself in ‘an “unbalanced” focus on developing vision on leadership and team development’ and yet in the holistic perspective it isn’t unbalanced…it just the next phase which leaves less space/time for things I have been more focused on in the past. I am discovering lately that when letting go of thinking in opposites (balanced or unbalanced) something new arises: accepting of where I am today is right where I need to be:).
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic and i concur with the previous responses. In the previous fifth decade of mine i have implemented an annual “check up” using an approach I appropriated and adapted somewhere along life’s journey. I call it “Life’s Wheel” which is divided into career, finances, family, friends, community, self, health, and spiritual and affords me an inexact method to review my life balance for the year past and set directions for the year ahead. What were my gaps, where did I overload and how could I improve my annual balance for the year ahead? The wheel includes some “colouring in” plus mind mapping which gets the analytical and creative juices flowing. I spend an hour or two completing the review and plan, though never file it away for reference, just trusting my inner self to guide the year ahead.