It’s already that time in the year when we start looking back at how 2012 has gone and what it has brought. This year, many people have said to me, “What a year you have had”.

On reflection, it has definitely been more than the year I had imagined. I have truly experienced depths of emotion like never before. Yet I have also received so many gifts and opportunities in the same moments.

In exploring what are considered to be the major stressors for people in the 21st century, I realised that a number of them have happened to me in just this year: the passing of a dear friend and both my parents, plus selling our house and moving interstate.

Whilst I can share this with a smile (my Enneagram style is to remain optimistic and enthusiastic regardless), I also recognise that I have been capable of facing up to and working with all of these challenges. So at this stage of the journey it feels important to ask “how?” and share this with you.

The first lesson on the journey has been to sit with ‘what is’ rather than imagine ‘what could be’.

It has often been tempting for me to think forward, anticipate, look for opportunities and speculate on all the possibilities rather than be in the moment. But when I recognised that every moment spent with someone else is precious, I was able to be ‘present’ with them. I focused on who I was with, remained open to what they were experiencing – what their concerns and priorities were – and appreciated what they were sharing with me.

The experience of truly listening to and appreciating another person is amazing. I surprised myself with how I was able to sit for long periods of time being with someone without the normal ‘chatter’ and anticipation in my thinking.

The second lesson on this journey was actually more of a reinforcement, and that was about the value of ‘intent’.

I used ‘intent’ each day to set myself up for how I wanted to be in the world, rather than what I wanted to do. In the world of the Enneagram, the natural inclination of my style is to avoid emotional pain, so how could I sit with it? The words I chose to use on a daily basis to support this way of being were ‘compassionate’, ‘open’ and ‘available’.

Whilst I was definitely aware of the impact of this intent within myself, what I was not expecting was what occurred around me.

Gifts of compassion, openness and availability appeared in all sorts of ways: with people sharing their insights and thoughts through these blog posts; with my colleagues and friends and their willingness to support both me and Global Leadership Foundation; and in the timely messages about what I was contributing through my work, often from people who did not know my situation. What I learnt was when you are prepared to ‘show up’ with intent, it comes back to you in ways you have never imagined.

Whilst I am not suggesting everyone goes and finds a number of stressors in order to provide the insights I have gained about myself, I trust that what I have offered translates into something you can take and apply on a daily basis in your own leadership and life.

Gayle